I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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