he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
