dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
