i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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