i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
