Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
