Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it's like iHOP with fire
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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