laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
