it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
