i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
