Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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