This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
