next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
