Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
