hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
