You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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