Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
