**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
