Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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