Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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