I showed him my bush... on skype.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
