we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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