fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize