butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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