I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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