i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
