I feel great
I just peed on a car
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
