it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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