remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
