I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
