He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
