Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
