Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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