you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
