I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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