I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
