Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
