My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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