I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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