I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
