I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
