I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
