i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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