I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
