Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
