how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
