you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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