You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
