I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
