and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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