Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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