I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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