We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Girls should come with a carfax report
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
