I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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