Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
