I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
