yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
