I accidentally had phone sex last night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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