So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
