Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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