the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
