so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
