It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
